"If she's old enough to pee, she's old enough for me" - George Washington
"I'll beat the fuck out of a pregnant bitch, I don't give a fuck" - Anne Frank, an excerpt from The Anne Frank Diaries
"The best part about fucking twenty-seven year olds, is that there are twenty of them" - Abraham Lincoln, an excerpt from his State of the Union Address
"I'll stop eating motherfucking babies when they stop tasting delicious" - Martin Luther King Jr.
"White people? Why, they are the most pleasant people on God's green earth!" - Malcom X (Take that, you dead asshole.)
"She asked me to give her nine inches and make it hurt, so I fucked her three times and punched her in the mouth" - Mother Theresa
"BRB, naptime" - Heath Ledger
"Fuck this, I'm gonna join my dead career." - Corey Haim