Sunday, September 12, 2010

First post! GAAAAH!!!!

I've decided to make my first post something hilarious to match my hilarious personality, since I'm pretty tired and have nothing interesting to say, so I'm going to rant, since I'm an angry American in need of an outlet (Assault charges are getting expensive).

My Review of "The Fourth Kind"

The first kind of shitty movie that you can watch is only semi-terrible, leaving room for you and your friends to drunkenly mock its foundation.
The second kind of shitty movie is unaware of its shittiness, but its low-budget and unmentionable storyline and cast doom it to shitty movie hell.
The third kind are usually blockbusters that flop miserably, usually due to its hollywood-backings putting money before quality...

...But the shittiest of them all...is the Fourth Kind.


I recently watched the film, "The Fourth Kind", and I must say... It was a giant piece of shit. The film and its director allege through the film's entirety that its happenings were all documented fact.  These statements are about as factual as that asshole in third grade that swore up and down that urine was produced in the testicles.  There is no documented evidence to support any claim made by this film, none of the names mentioned in the film belong to anyone alive right now, and most convincingly, the film's "actual footage" is so fake, it could be a Chris Brown apology video (derp derp derp).  In conclusion, I hated this movie, 0/10.


Things I would rather do than watch this film

-Sit on Santa's lap after a Viagra overdose.
-Let Courtney Love babysit my kids
-Watch porn with my grandparents

15 comments: